Penning my thoughts on the lifetime of my father, I will be honest and say not only has it been therapeutic (as he’s still so missed), it has helped to ring home again the values he instilled in me as a son and to his immediate family most especially. Hopefully, you have also been blessed by these.

The last physical interaction i had with him was six months before he joined the Saints, when he visited with my family, as we celebrated the birth of my daughter. For the two weeks he spent, I had the most amazing and unforgettable time of fellowship with him. We talked about everything and anything. Our conversations ranged from my mother, his work and ministry, and his books, particularly the one he was writing at the time of his accident and which was concluded before his demise. He could not stop talking about his admiration and aspirations for both my sisters too, their career, their future marriages and his future sons’ in-law. We would talk about what he should wear on the day they get married but since dad heeded the call to serve as a priest, he had exchanged his garments as well, so there was no convincing him otherwise. He always wore his priestly robe with pride like the Levites and their weddings won’t be an exception.
His was a legacy of love, of peace and immense wisdom. As a family, we laughed a lot and growing up was so much fun. I teased him when I could and I was also never scared to err my disapproval when I did not agree with him, at least for the most time. He would always listen to you and the wisdom he exuded could only have been from above. There was so much I learnt from him while he was alive and now in death, I aspire to excel as a father to my kids as I believe he did with me and my siblings. I believe the goal of every man who has fathered a child, biological or non-biological, would be to acknowledge his children as gifts from God and pray fervently for the wisdom to lead and provide for his home. One of the greatest gifts any man would give his children, is to raise them in a loving home, where the child is loved unconditionally and in spite of any shortcomings they may have. Perhaps the greatest value dad gave to us was in his love for my mother. He was selfless and she was his priority. It didn’t matter what the situation was, he would defend her honour, never ashamed to profess his love for her and always acknowledged her at home and publicly. I am a grown man now and married too, that I can’t but marvel at the husband he was.

I will never forget the beauty of his relationship with my sisters. I have two of them. They were so close to dad. Some things I could never say to dad or do but my sisters would and also get away with them. As one who fathers daughters, I would appreciate the importance of earning the trust and confidence of your daughter. He was their first love and you could see it. My sisters were untouchable and once in my teens, I did the unthinkable and hit my immediate younger sister. She had grown taller than me and always seemed to forget I am older (We laugh about all that now). Dad sat me down and we ended up in the Book of Proverbs, where he instructed me about the wise and the foolish son. “Have you ever seen me raise my hand to your mother, or hear of me being violent with your aunties?” he asked. He went further, “a real man never raises their hand to hurt a woman”. Truth is dad never raised his hands on us, his words though gentle and never in anger, did the rebuking and you just had to repent. Truth is at home, he was to us more than anything, ‘our daddy’ and cared about our spiritual well-being too.

When next month, I walk up the isle with my kid sister’s hand in mine, to bless and hand her over in marriage to the man she loves and would spend the rest of her life, I will do so with immense pride knowing how proud dad would have been seeing her grow from the adorable baby in his arms years ago and now a very beautiful and godly daughter who is fulfilled and happy. I will not be wearing his robe but when I step out, I will do so elegantly knowing I wear his blessing, his pride and that his spirit lives on.